Wikipedia defines the genre of children's music as:
music composed and performed for children by adults. In European influenced contexts this means music, usually songs, written specifically for a juvenile audience. The composers are usually adults. Children's music has historically held both entertainment and educational functions. Children's music is often designed to provide an entertaining means of teaching children about their culture, other cultures, good behavior, facts and skills. Many are folk songs, but there is a whole genre of educational music that has become increasingly popular.A very good description, except for one thing: It fails to describe the insidious way children's music gets stuck in your head. I put children's music in the same category that I put Norwegian Black Metal and The Brady Bunch: pure evil. I feel that it is irresponsible to not label children's music the same way pharmaceuticals are. The label should read: Do not drive or operate heavy machinery, the catchy jingles and easy to remember lyrics will slide into your mindscape and numb it to ordinary sensation.
Have you ever been under the influence of children's music? For example, you may walk past a play group singing a song about a hot potato and find yourself humming it all day, the buzz of the the 'hot potato, hot potato' chorus blocking your mind from useful pursuits such as breathing. Hospital staff, when presented with your semi-conscious body will hear your murmurs of 'hot potato' and waste valuable resuscitation time searching your body for third degree burn sites. Alternatively, when in line at the checkout you may find yourself bopping your head to the theme song from Lambchops Playalong, the resulting neck strain rendering you incapable of correctly checking your rear view mirrors and thus resulting in a car park bingle which really and completely throws your neck out and will require many years of physiotherapy. You could find yourself folding your laundry to the driving beat of Thomas The Tank Engine when your whole arm literally wrenches itself seperate from your torso, inching away of its own accord leaving nothing but a trail of blood and tissue pulp as it hightails into the evening, desperate to put as much distance between your infernal humming and it. A fully grown adult, unable to resist the rousing chorus of "D. O. R. O. T. H. Y! Your favorite dinosaur!" from latching on to the controls of your brain- this music is pure uncut baby heroin.Even as I type I can hear the tune, whispering seductively in my deepest mind space, I know if I turn my thoughts to the sound I will be completely under its spell and so, dear reader, I am using all my mental strength to resist. Please forgive me if this has resulted in a weirdly written post.
D. O. R. O- No! Resist! Back on track Sandi, back on track.
I love so many types of music, but I simply cannot abide children's music. I mean, in the classroom it has it's place (do not fear for your children's teachers, I believe they train teachers defence against the black arts at university) but the thought of me driving around listening to The Wiggles for "the children's sake" makes me spew in my mouth a little. Convulsive shivers wrack my body at the idea of attending a concert in which four skivvy clad morons make millions from such combined parental agony.
Thankfully there are ways of going about instilling a love of music in a child that do not involve such medieval tortures. For example, there are bands out there who have songs that do not include swearing or offensive content, and thanks to the wonder of technology we can make our own playlists. My baby friendly playlist includes some They Might Be Giants (such as Birdhouse In Your Soul), B52's (Rock Lobster), The Cure (Love Cats) and Modest Mouse (Paper Thin Walls).
Another option is instrumental or lullaby versions of your favorite artists. Rockabye Baby and Hushabye Baby records are exactly that: baby friendly instrumental renditions of famous bands, such as Bjork, Foo Fighters, Tool, Metallica, Nine Inch Nails, QOTSA, The Pixies, Radiohead- the list goes on, but these are ones that Hunter owns (we had some very generous baby shower gifts!)! Check out the whole range at the Rockabye Baby website. Thanks to Rockabye Baby I have one copy of Lullaby Renditions Of The Pixies to giveaway!
There are two steps to enter for your chance to win:
First, share with me (in the gadget below) your favorite 'non-childrens music'- music you listen to both with and without your children. Just normal music for normal adults that does not contain swear words or offensive content.
Second, 'like' Milk Eyes on Facebook.
The winner of this giveaway will be drawn in two weeks.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Contests & Sweepstakes