Thursday, 15 December 2011
Evil Parents: Christmas Pranks
This adorable little guy thinks he is getting an XBox for Christmas, but its just a bunch of winter clothes in a discarded XBox box. Kind of makes me cry a little, hearing his family laugh at him- the unfunny joke smouldering like a hot coal in a pile of torn wrapping paper just ready to ignite and burn down the house.
Makes me remember one Christmas where I opened a HUGE box (is it a bike? A doll house? A cubby house? A bunk bed? A trampoline?) to reveal a box of Fags (Fads to you modern PC kids, or sugar cigarettes to anyone who never rocked them the way I did). Everyone laughed at the joke- which is strange because the joke was actually based on building a little kid up simply to break them down again, like hazing (but with much less sexual assault). That sucked for me a little, but at least the box was just plain and didn't leave me to believe I was getting a $500 gift.
The more I think about it the bitter taste of this joke leaves me consumed by the sinking sands of memory until I'm slowly drowning in all those childhood moments where my dreams were destroyed. Little grains of bitterness and desire filling my mouth, suffocating me in the silica of disappointment, decaying hope particles gritty between my teeth.
Left unchecked this kind of thing would be the moment that, when touched on years later in therapy (as part of the rehabilitation into society process of a maximum security prison), the serial killer would say "the xbox prank was when I first realised humans are nothing more than cruel animals that deserve to die".
But I am not alone- It seems that a fair few other people were also stung by the venom in the joke because this sweet child had his dream rebuilt by the nice people at EndGadget.com:
Ah, happy endings (time to spit out the sick sand of self pity and have a huge refreshing drink of "the world is an OK place after all").
On a side note, I bet you ever since this video went viral that the kid gets taunted by "we can't afford an XBox" the same way Eddie Murphy taunted the kids that couldn't afford an icecream...